For me, it’s to take things one day at a time. I know that sounds very relaxed, but the reality is that I have anxiety that likes to kick me down a lot. But after going through a particular rough patch a few years ago, medically and emotionally, I had to come to terms with the fact that there were only so many things I could control. But even those little things made all the difference. I learned to give up this false image of control I carried around, and learned to focus on the now.
This motto particularly helped me get through working through the COVID-19 pandemic as someone who works in healthcare. (In 2020, I was working in hospice, or, end-of-life healthcare.) I built a wall between myself and the landslide of worries and fears that anxiety brings, and focused on my loved ones, and my interests instead. No, I didn’t ignore what was happening around me, but I learned to keep things in their place, I stopped reading (and listening to) the news, and pretty much became selfish with the energy I am given each day.
I would live to know what your personal motto is as well, and how you came about it!
Keeping things short today because of the holiday (and because I have a paper to finish for my Social Media Campaigns course).
Whenever I think of ghost stories, I immediately flash back to an evening drive back home from Rio Vista over 15 years ago. I was young, still drying off from one last dip in the Sacramento River before departure, stuck in the car with my siblings, parents, and a visiting distant aunt. For some wicked reason, this relative thought a dark drive home was the perfect time to tell us all the story of La Sihuanaba. If you don’t know who she is, well, let me just say she’s La Llorona’s Salvadoran cousin.
La Sihuanaba is a fallen beautiful woman who enchanted a nobleman and caused him to lose his mind. Because of this, she was cursed to forever wander the earth disfigured (sometimes appearing as a skeleton, and sometimes with the face of a horse). She attacks late night strollers, especially men, and is often found near bodies of water.
Safe to say, it was a LONG while before I could look out the car window at night again. Thanks Tía.
What’s something you’ve been meaning to write about, but never got around to? Sometimes, it’s healthy to vent. Get the nasty thoughts in our head out and open up space for the good. Yesterday, I wrote about my frustration with work, with the medical system, with life in general. My grandmother hasn’t been feeling very well, and we’re currently awaiting bloodwork results. I’m scared of what they might find. But, once I got everything down, I realized that maybe I was just letting my anxiety get to me. I sometimes forget to look at the positive when I’m bogged down by a heavy black cloud. So, I encourage you to write down your own black cloud. What’s got you angry, frustrated, scared?
Earlier this year, I was responding to a penpal in Germany and one of the questions she asked me in her letter was: in three words, how would you describe yourself? Believe it or not, that’s how Introvert in Flux was born. Three simple words to describe the current state of being I find myself in. Quiet, but constantly changing.
And, I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m sure others, like me, grew up and live in a society that promotes extroversion. And this society comes with a lot of noise, a lot of feedback and chatter. So much so, that sometimes, it’s hard to find a moment of peace. But they’re out there, and when you feel like you’re at your limit, they make all the difference.
I hope that this will be a quiet, peaceful, space for you.
Let me also start off by saying that I don’t always have my life together. In fact, I mess up a lot. Even while entering my thirties, I am still growing and learning about what my bones are made of, and how they all fit together. Even so, what I hope to do here is share a few of the skills and practices I’ve picked up along the way in hopes that they might be of some benefit to you. That you might learn a bit more about yourself. What you’re capable of, what you might be carrying, and what needs to be left behind. I’ll even toss in a few personal experiences and observations, just to keep things interesting.
So, Dear Reader, I invite you to join me. Let’s mess up together, then figure things out as we go.